Wake Up Calls
You never see them coming, the unexpected wake up calls that carry our names. They create detours that demand to be traveled. I naively thought cancer was something that happened to other people …wait, why is this doctor using the “C” word and looking right at ME? Nooooo….
The storms of life can come to us all in one way or another. The fear and the spinning out of control can be suffocating. If you find your storm involves a health battle, you discover what you are truly capable of enduring and what lengths you will go through to try to live your full lifetime. You discover a new part of you that you did not know existed.
As a then 48 year old woman preparing for Christmas, I wanted to make every moment count because this was the last Christmas before our youngest child would leave for college the next fall. I thought the hardest thing in my future would be staring into my daughter’s empty room, but I didn’t know how big of a challenge was waiting for me just ahead.
Each step of my strange journey is shared with the hope that it will inspire you in ways that make a difference to you. Every day I praise God for my health and I continue to ask for guidance as I navigate remission. My body is a map of experiences that shaped me (literally) into who I am today. When the body that you always knew as YOURS becomes altered and is now a reflection of someone else’s involvement, it takes time to accept you are still YOU.
I struggled through these challenging journeys, but the lessons left me with the awareness that every sunrise is another gift to make a memory with someone you love. Each new day was a chance to have my energy, thoughts and feelings participating in the world.
I see beauty in my scars now because they opened the door for me to still be here. They remind me daily of my willingness to fight for myself and to trust God’s plan. If you are in the fight of your life at this moment, know you are not alone. There is a community of warriors that have walked the path and we know your struggle.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
I repeated this verse in my mind for every doctor’s visit, scan, surgery, test, chemotherapy, radiation or really bad day. Still do.
