Surviving Survivor’s Guilt

“Janet, this is my journey, not yours'“. These were the words a friend of mine said to me in 2014 as she turned to leave a get together with friends. We both had battled two breast cancers and she had counseled me through many of my concerns because she was years ahead of me in remission. I stood there looking at her as she was gathering her things and walking to the door. Earlier that evening, she announced she had cancer for a third time and she was about to fight for her existence once more. Why? Why? WHY?!

I must have shown my fear on my face because she paused as she passed me. This beautiful woman with so much love and courage was about to face my biggest fear. Her loving heart, full of compassion, caused her to turn around and comfort a friend.

I watched this lovely soul lose her third battle. We will never know the answers to why one survives and one who fights just as hard loses. But, I have come to know that God loves both. We are not meant to fully understand His ways.

I know my friend would want me to cherish each sunrise and live life showing up for all the moments I am given. We must accept that we survived because that is how we begin to open ourselves up for living. We have the opportunity to honor those that left too soon by embracing gratitude and purpose. If we choose to stay stuck in guilt, we are wasting our most precious non-renewable treasure.

Now, is it easy to accept such a monumental gift? Not always. Some days I think I am not living big enough to warrant the gift. I am not doing it right. I realize those feelings come from guilt and I need to stop, take a deep breath and regain my perspective. Guilt will rob us of the joy of living if we are not careful and this serves no one. You ARE here now. Look around and focus on the family and friends who prayed for you to survive. Reach out and make a new memory with one today.