Scanxiety (Waiting For The Next Scan)
Vulnerability
Staying strong while leaning in to the unknown
If you have battled cancer, you try to live your life as fully as you can stretch yourselves to trust since your last scan. I know this stretch. Like many others, I have cherished sunrises and lived with gratitude for seeing more of the billboards of life on this journey. I stay positive, but some days I do wonder what every little ache and bump might be hiding since the last scan. Do you do this as well? My faith, though, will eventually let my hands loosen the grip on the reins of stress and scanxiety.
The schedule is different for everyone. Annually, every six months, monthly – whatever the plan for monitoring our health involves. We submit to varying tests to see how we are holding up against the threat of cancer’s possible encore or if we are currently in the fight, for signs of it’s impending defeat.
Until last year, my scans were every six months. How about you? Even if you have never had cancer (Praise God) and are waiting for your annual mammogram or another type of test, you know the anxiety of waiting for results. Take a deep breath, you are not alone in your worry. No one knows the results until the scan is done. It is in the journey to live with trust and gratitude between these scans that our greatest gifts lie.
I have now “graduated” to annual MRI scans and I am very grateful for successfully transitioning to this new protocol. I didn’t realize, though, how comforting it was to be seen every six months. I felt that if I was on someone’s radar more frequently then nothing was going to get out of control on me.
I am now 12 and a half years in remission from my first battle. I am profoundly grateful and dare to believe that I will have many years of making memories ahead of me. Every day sets the stage for the next and I want to experience life living with belief. The opposite would be to live with fear daily and that is a sunrise we should never sacrifice.
During my last annual MRI, my nurse Veronda, shared that she goes before God with every patient and prays for their results. Her warm and peaceful spirit calmed me. The technician was a gentle man who said we are here to learn the lessons of life and these lessons prepare us for something much better beyond. I felt peace knowing I was in faithful hands.
I prayed up to the very moment they placed me in the big donut hole thingy and told me to relax. It is easier said than done, right? Wearing ear plugs to help drown out the clicks, I kept my eyes closed and tried not to think of how many inches were between my nose and the inside of the tube I was in. I would love to hear some of your tips on how you stay calm in the tight quarters of this type of scan. Please share!
It was not long before I received my results - ALL CLEAR!! Praise God! A wave of relief swept over me and I looked ahead to the next twelve months. I have so much I want to do. I am now a “Nana” to a precious little grandson. Life keeps moving forward and I never take it for granted.
If you have a scan coming up, tell us so we can pray for your results. We are all on this journey together. If you have had a scan reveal something challenging, tell us what you are comfortable sharing and let us pray for your next steps. As the bible says … and the greatest of these is LOVE.